im the type of guy who does not let my feelings out when i feel like i do not want to. ive been keeping thigs to myself, make mistakes and keep it,love things and keep it, ive never let anyone know what im really feeling. maybe, i myself do not know who i am and what should i do. things that ive regreted will still play in my mind. things that ive keep will never get away.
my heart now fills with much regets and emotions. i do not know how to unleash it all. im a fool, to myslef.
i have never question this love. i have never doubt you. i always let things go your way, and even things get bad, i will still get back to you with one thing on my mind, i love you. that is all that matter even though people say things about me and you. im selfish. yes, i am. ive always let it go.
but,with just one question, ive got violated with vulgars and non understanding part of you. i agree with what you say. yes iam am stupid, immature, retard, fuck. do you even know me? 16 months is long but yet too short for us to get to know each other. ive never questioned you about things you've done. if you're happy with it, then so be it. its good to know that. but,melodies of noises keep playing in my head. what the hell am i going to do? i've regretted so many things, but this love, im never gonna reget it. people alwyas say, do not give up, and i never did.
i have always kept quiet when it comes to talking. maybe, that is who i am.
this is fucking fucked up. what am i supposed to do?
ive hurt you with one question, which ive never wanted to ask you. because, i do not want to end this relationship. i have always trusted you.
i have humiliated you and questioned you with that one question.
you know, im sorry for that. i really am.
I DO NOT KNOW WHO I AM ANYMORE.
i need a breather. i wanna drink. give it to me.
im lost with so many question and no direction. ive said enough here. i could go on and on about this. i guess, ill keep it to myself, again.
guys, you think u know what love is? question your self and ask it again, what the hell is love.and when u get an answer, tell me.
do not tell me this fuck, that love is trust, love is time and that love need not be questioned. that is all bullshit.
im all out.
ive love you,and i still do..
indulging in my ownDREAM *.*
12:59 PM
im gonna do what i dont do best.
ill hide my emotions and pretend.
pretend nothing happen.
you, takecare.
live your own life how you want it to be.
and, ill be on my way.
this days of my life,
god, i cant ask for any better.
hey baby love,
thanks for everything.
i love you,
sweetheart.
the nights..
signing off.
(memories?)
indulging in my ownDREAM *.*
5:07 AM
here again.
all we need to do is to decide is what to do with the time that is given to us.
its just too much,too much.
where will this lead me to?
gonna held up my head and see the sky.
just keep falling and the answer to that was?
behold,the almighty heart.
signing off.
LOVE? hold on
indulging in my ownDREAM *.*
1:52 AM
maybe i fag alittle too much.
one pack,4-5hours?
thats good right?
takecare.
indulging in my ownDREAM *.*
6:04 PM
time?
get it off.
its the end of the unhold chapter.
time show that.and its gonna be pen down now.
by all means, get a grip..
cause, when you know it, you've already fallen
and waiting for the pain to come,
and let it go.
TIME.
what is it?
goodbye.
indulging in my ownDREAM *.*
10:02 AM
its been awhile..but that aside.
is it what i did that make a wall in this journey? really,its really unexpected how you change that fast. you said you love me for who i am. and now you changed. maybe its me. and no, im not blaming anyone because it is all my fault. mine. for being an insensitive person, for not being able to understand you and yah, its all mine. i know. that dosent mean we have to change to the way we work things out. maybe, im not the one who is tired, i can still run and break that wall. each tear that i drip from this dry eyes of mine have the voice of you, the pictures of you and the memories of the past 1year. it all seems to be going well. i dont know, am i the one?
im in trouble, cause i love you.
I can clearly see you standing there,
reading my words of love.
This war and distance is hard.
My eyes are always open,
but in darkness alone I lie
and always wondering why.
when a man looks into your eyes and smiles
it means hes laughing inside at himself.
when a man holds your hand,
it means hes let go of everything else in life.
when a man holds you close,
it means hes hurting inside.
when a man doesnt talk over you,
it means he loves your voice.
when a man says your name,
It means hes forgotten his own.
when a man is shy around you,
he wants to say your beautiful.
but most of all
when a man says he cares you,
it means he needs nothing in life, but you.
am i, a man?..
this aint a fairytale
LOVE?
indulging in my ownDREAM *.*
11:36 PM
its been awhile.
=)
im just home from this work of mine.
currently tired and thinking of my sweetheart.
things starting to settle down,and i love the way
it is right now.
=)
we are always searching in life for that special thing.that thing that will make us fly without wings. when i close my eyes every single night,all that i will see is that beautiful sight. that thing that i want to touch and hold.that thing which is better then silver and gold.this thing shares my hope and dreams and help me understand how love should be.it will stand by my side. there's nothing in this world i would rather feel,than to be in love with that real deal.
baby,i love you.
PS- the end is always a new begining.
indulging in my ownDREAM *.*
10:42 AM
